‘Twas The Night Before VaXmas – A Biden Christmas Poem

VaXmas

‘Twas the Night Before VaXmas ‘Twas the night before VaXmas, when in the White House Not a Biden was stirring, except Jill’s inept spouse; Face masks were hung by the chimney with care, As the president readied his next variant scare; The Commies were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of lockdowns danced in their heads; And Jill in her nightie, and I, tired as crap, Had just settled down for my 4th or 5th nap, When then on the news there arose so much chatter, Joe Manchin,…

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Tornado Biden: Worst Destruction I’ve Seen Since Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton Played Twister

twister

KENTUCKY – After being convinced by staff that he hadn’t been transported to Oz, President Biden toured tornado-ravaged Kentucky today. The destruction is devastating. And reporters noted that Joe seemed overwhelmed by what he saw. “Folks, what I’ve seen today is hard to put into words. I’ve been to many disaster sites over my last century in politics. But this one is especially bad. I’ve been trying to think of how to convey just how bad the destruction here is. Do you all remember a climate documentary from the ’90’s…

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Alec Baldwin Admits He Shot The Sheriff, But He Did Not Shoot The Deputy

Alec

NEW MEXICO – Actor Alec Baldwin insists that he cocked the gun that killed Halyna Hutchins, but he didn’t pull the trigger. In the immortal words of Jason Bateman, “It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ’em.” Baldwin told a reporter this week, “How can I make you people understand? Look, it’s like me admitting I shot the sheriff…but I did not shoot the deputy. Do you get that?” “With all due respect, sir, that analogy doesn’t make any sense in this situation,” the reporter…

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Biden Blames Grandson For Cough, Inflation, Low Poll Numbers, Omicron

grandson

WASHINGTON – Hoarse, and coughing his way through a press conference, Joe Biden worried members of the press. When asked, he told reporters his baby grandson was to blame for giving him a cold. Biden said his grandson had been “kissing my, anyway…you know, the thing.” TMI. But Joe wasn’t through. He went on to blame his grandson for the poor November jobs report, skyrocketing inflation, and other issues that are dragging down his presidency. “I love the little bastard, but he’s not only made me sick, he’s singlehandedly wrecking…

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