WASHINGTON – Robert Mueller and leading Democrats have been whining that Attorney General William Barr’s summary of the Mueller Report didn’t properly convey the context, substance or mood of his findings. So the AG is now releasing a soundtrack to go along with the report.
“I hope a little mood music helps them better understand there’s no there there,” Barr said. The Attorney General has hired famed composer Hans Zimmer to produce the score. A list of tracks on the soundtrack has been provided below:
- No Collusion, No Obstruction (What Part of NO Don’t You Idiots Get?) – Instrumental version
- Believing A Lie
- Whoomp! There It Is (Trump Beat Us Again)
- Hey Stupids, There’s No Collusion (Live at Budapest)
- The Mueller Shuffle (Redacted Studio Remix)
- Knowing When To Quit
- Subpoena This!
- I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For (And You Won’t!) – Democrats’ theme
- Morons, There’s No Obstruction! (For Mazie Hirono)
Mr. Barr admitted that putting the soundtrack together was kind of fun. “I’ve never considered myself a DJ, but in getting this project together I felt like I was giving Democrats a musical middle finger, and that’s very cool.”
The soundtrack is being made available to all Democratic members of Congress, members of the mainstream media, and the ladies of The View. Some people need a little help understanding the obvious. Some need pictures. Others need a soundtrack.