Anti-Trump 5K Fun Walks Take Place in Major US Cities

OAKLAND – In a concerted effort to get into better shape for the 2020 presidential election, thousands of anti-Trump protesters gathered in at least 7 US cities to participate in loosely monitored 5K Fun Walks. The events were sponsored by bitter billionaire George Soros who, ironically, is too chicken-shit to walk in one of his races.

Participants carried anti-Trump signs, and burned American flags, as they strolled leisurely block after city block up streets in Seattle, New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston, and a few other large cities. There are no winners in any of the events, but everyone gets a participation ribbon for changing nothing.


Since the walkers are driven to walk for emotional reasons, “Snowflake Counselors” are stationed at each block to console and counsel any walker who feels they can’t continue with the group, or who just needs a hug to get through the moment. The large groups accomplished nothing, other than burning off some calories from all the beer they drank last night.

One male college student we spoke with explained why he was walking tonight. “Man, I think Hillary Clinton needs to sue the government, walk into the Supreme Court tomorrow, something, and demand that they fix this vote. SHE got more votes from humans than Trump did! And he going to be our president?! That ain’t right.”

When asked if he only supported the Electoral College when it benefited his side, the man said, “No, I go to the community college here. I ain’t never gone to Electoral College. I don’t know nothing about that.”


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2 Thoughts to “Anti-Trump 5K Fun Walks Take Place in Major US Cities

  1. Yeah, right? That is the informed populace in action! I actually did some research into The Electoral College (not to be confused with The Ohio State University). Seems they’ve got a pretty strong basketball team coming up this year… should be a lot of fun to watch, especially after they got beat by The FED University in football!

    1. E. Williams

      I can’t wait!

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