WASHINGTON – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, preeminent thinker for today’s Democrats, is outraged over President Trump’s recent actions regarding Iran. But she’s not just mad about him taking out American-hating terrorist Soleimani last weekend.
“Ok, like, so Iran retaliated against us by launching rockets at our bases in Iraq….which they had very right to do. But within hours of their strikes against us, the president caused 2 earthquakes in Iran. AND a plane crash on top of that!” Cortez charged.
“We’re better than that. Why does he even do that?” she continued. “I’ve called Nancy (Pelosi) and told her I want to, like, submit legislation that would limit the president’s ability to cause earthquakes whenever he feels like it. As you know, Congress is usually consulted before our nation causes earthquakes in a foreign country.”
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer is demanding that President Trump submit any geological intel he may have to Congress before causing any more earthquakes in Iran. “Earthquakes, plane crashes, what’s next?” Schumer wondered. “No president should have that much power.”
Democrats admit they have no proof that Trump caused the earthquakes and the Ukranian Airlines plane crash, but they insisted Trump was responsible for every bad thing that happens in our world. “Makes perfect sense to me,” Cortez explained. “I can totally see him doing something like that.”