WASHINGTON – Democrats in Congress are continuously slamming President Trump for not instantly curing the coronavirus that is plaguing mankind at the moment. Many are reminding the public that a Democrat would have already eradicated the disease, were they in the White House.
Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez can’t believe the president isn’t doing more to protect Americans. “Like, it’s common knowledge that the Speaker (Pelosi) has her magic gavel. And the president has, like, this presidential magic wand. I see no evidence that he’s used it to solve this coronavirus crisis. I think it’s fair to ask ‘Why not?'”
Senator Chuck Schumer told reporters, “It’s clear the president is indifferent toward the safety and well-being of the American people. Otherwise, he would have used his magic wand by now. What is he waiting for? It makes no sense!”
Presidential candidate Joe Biden was emphatic in his remarks about the health crisis. “If I’m elected to be the Ambassador to the U.N., I’d use the presidential magic wand on day one. This thing would be over. Hell, I’ll do it today! Somebody get their hands on that wand and I’ll stop this virus today. Come on, man!”
AOC reiterated that, “The president not only has his presidential magic wand, but he has full authority to use either pixie dust or fairy dust, whichever is deemed to be more effective against the coronavirus, in his arsenal. Instead, he gives speeches about the outbreak. WHY?!”
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi slammed the president’s inaction. “If it saves just one life, he should use his magic wand. Mr. President, I implore you, do it for the children.” Pelosi then told reporters to report the outbreak as the latest existentially existential threat the nation faces.