WASHINGTON – Americans may have just dodged a bullet. President Biden decided against a vaccine program his people wanted, and he made the decision just before delivering a pleading speech to the masses.
According to spokesgal Jen Psaki, “The president decided not to move forward with a ‘Get the Shot or Get Shot’ vaccine program that many of us wanted. A majority in the White House believe the unvaccinated deserve a choice. Get the shot….or eat lead. That’s pretty straightforward. We think most would choose Pfizer over Smith & Wesson. However, in a last minute change of heart, he decided it wasn’t the right program at this time.”
In his address to the nation, Biden said, “I do like the idea. I thought the name was catchy and would have a big impact on the unvaccinated. Really, we shouldn’t offer them anything. They should get the shot because we tell them to. I mean, when the hell did critical thinking and making up your own mind become a thing anyway?”
The president reminded his audience that unvaccinated Americans are only 3/5 of a person anyway. He added that he was unsure how much longer he could hold out ‘just asking nicely’ before he has to get really tough with the ‘jab-resistant.’ “I’ll remind you though, if the CDC recommends we start shooting the unvaccinated, we’ll follow their guidance. They know best.”
Psaki told reporters later that the president may yet circle back to the ‘get the shot or get shot’ idea. “I would love to see it, personally,” Jen said.