ARIZONA – With Jeff Flake getting hit by the door on his way out, and John McCain battling declining health and a ‘Go to Hell, Voters!’ attitude, Arizonans are hopeful that in the near future the state’s two Senate seats may finally have a chance to flip red in coming elections.
Both Flake (D-AZ) and Senator McCain (D-AZ) like to call themselves Republicans, while voting and acting like Democrats. John McCain is currently checking off his bitter bucket list, determined to piss off as many people as he can on his way out. He’s recently single-handedly saved Obamacare, trashed voters, urged Uncle Joe Biden to continue fighting the president, then insulted Sarah Palin and President Trump. He even insists that Trump not attend his funeral.
Bobby Dawson, a conservative from Tucson, said, “It would be great to see the state go red! President Trump could really use the help. He can’t do everything by himself. These guys need to get the hell out of the way. They’re not doing anybody any good.”
Steve Harrison, a Republican from Sedona, told us, “Flake has been designated the official state douchebag of Arizona, so that will be his legacy. And McCain seems to want to go out in a big blaze of angry. They’ve both been Democrats for years – it’s embarrassing.”
The state rightly seems to be tired of politicians who run for one party, then govern like members of the other party. Apparently, that’s what mavericks do.