NEW YORK – Former President Barack Obama emerged from his life of luxury today, just long enough to criticize President’s Trump handling of the current pandemic. He chastised Trump for his travel bans, inability to stop the pandemic in its tracks, and not taking China at its word.
“If Joe (Biden) and I were still in office, I would have bowed to the Chinese leaders numerous times – even if they weren’t telling us the truth about the disease – and I certainly think I could have talked the coronavirus to death by this point,” Obama arrogantly proclaimed.
Members of the media agreed with his sentiments. “Whatever President Obama would have done during a pandemic like this, it would have been the right thing to do,” said CNN’s Jim Acosta.
Presidential candidate Joe Biden was quick to agree with his former boss. “I guarantee Barack would have lectured the nation and, more importantly, the virus, into submission by now. We may have lost some Americans who tested positive for Covid-19, but they would’ve died of boredom from his speeches before they succumbed to the disease.”
Biden added that, “Inaction, blame, lecturing, and apologies were the pillars of our administration. There isn’t a virus anywhere that can withstand that kind of strength. Come on, man. If Barack and I were still running things, Americans wouldn’t be cowering in their homes right now. They’d be out attending parades for Obama and me.”