VERMONT – Senator Bernie Sanders announced today that he will indeed seek to not be the president in 2020. He enters a crowded field of progressives seeking the Democratic nomination in 2020, but he has more experience losing than the others.
“I know I won’t win,” Sanders gruffly admitted, “But I love the attention. I want to allow all the college students to ‘Feel The Bern’ one more time and enjoy the ride. My plan has always been to announce my bid, go through the process, spend millions in other peoples’ money, and then lose the nomination.”
With the high number of clowns seeking the Democratic nomination in 2020, Bernie says he figures he’ll come in 4th or 5th in the running this time. “I know the DNC is hoping for the first black, female, quadriplegic pansexual to win the presidency but, unfortunately, that’s not me.”
Sanders plans on getting a new book deal out of the experience. When asked why he would want to put himself through the debacle that will be the 2020 election cycle, he deadpanned, “I don’t have anything else on my plate right now.”
So Bernie 2020 is now a reality until he bows out of the race sometime next year.