Beto: Gun Show Attendees Kindly Offered To Shove AR-15’s Up My Butt


MERICA – 2020 lost cause Beto O’Rourke said in the latest Democratic debate that he was coming for your guns. In the 1 in 10,000,000,000 chance he were ever to become president of the United States, he would push for gun confiscation.

When asked if he would institute a gun buyback program, the hapless candidate emphatically responded, “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47.”

To strengthen his position, O’Rourke said he attended a gun show recently in which people at the event told him they would gladly hand over their firearms if it would make the country safe.

Carl Jasper, a hunter from Texas, explained, “I offered to happily shove my legal, newly purchased AR-15 up his ass. Or, if he prefers, I told him I would cut it up in little pieces and then shove all those pieces up his ass. His choice.”

Cheryl Summers, a responsible gun owner at the show, told us, “I told Beto that it wasn’t necessary to buyback my guns. I could shove my AR-15 up his ass, or I could shove it down his throat. Again, his choice. I know those on his side are all about choice, and I’m a nice person.”

Feedback from attendees was mixed on whether lube should be used on Beto, or not. “I know this isn’t the way I would prefer to receive these weapons of war,” Beto said, “But I thought it really said something that they were offering to give them to me without much hesitation.”


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