Beto: Skateboards More Acceptable Weapons Than AR-15’s For Self Defense

skateboards

TEXAS – Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke, the Democrat on a losing streak, wants to be Governor of Texas. The #1 issue he’s running on is taking everybody’s AR-15’s away. That should go over really well in Texas. But he believes he has the answer.

“Look at that Huber guy in Kenosha, the one who hit Kyle Rittenhouse over the head with his skateboard. That’s the way to do it. You can do serious damage, and it’s also your getaway vehicle,” he told a small campaign audience. “Unfortunately, that dude wasn’t fast enough to get away on that night.”

“Nobody needs an AR-15! And if elected….nobody will!” Beto announced to applause. “I want to replace your AR-15 with a skateboard – with taxpayer money, of course. Let’s say an intruder breaks into your home. You slam him over the head with your skateboard, and haul ass out the door and off your front porch. Maybe you do a 5-0 grind trick on the railing, if you have one, on your way to safety? Your call.”

“Under my plan, concussions and broken bones will skyrocket, but gun deaths will dramatically fall. I think that’s a fair trade,” Beto continued. He told supporters he envisions an America where people can beat each other senseless with skateboards if they disagree, but not get shot by scary looking weapons.

Beto continues to think of himself as a “boarder.” He’s really just a poser. Lighten up, Francis.

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