DELAWARE – Aides to Joe Biden’s 2020 campaign are doing whatever they can to avoid his having to debate President Trump in person. Now, they’re offering up 80’s pop culture personality Max Headroom as an alternative.
The suggestion comes after the Trump campaign declined televising all debates from Biden’s basement. Greg Schultz, his campaign manager, explained why Headroom might be a suitable “debate double” for Biden.
“First, they look exactly alike,” Schultz said. “I believe many of our younger Democrats wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Also, Max is glitchy. Joe is glitchy. Sometimes when speaking, Max temporarily freezes up. So does Joe. I mean, I haven’t had Joe submit to a blood test, but I bet if I did, it’d prove they’re brothers.”
Nancy Pelosi recently saw Max on a TV screen and commented, “Joe sounds funny. Is this another one of his basement videos?”
“Oh, one more thing,” Schultz added, “They’re both programmed ahead of time. And, to be honest, Max Headroom is much better (than Joe) at remembering the lines we give him to say.”
Most mainstream media outlets are praying that the Trump campaign will accept the substitution.