WASHINGTON – Joe Biden wants to start a door-to-door campaign to get more Americans vaccinated. As part of his administration’s brilliant scheme, the Girl Scouts of America are being consulted as vaccine pushers. Slipping the vaccine into cookies may be an easy way to dupe those resistant to getting jabbed.
Spokesgal Jen Psaki explained the idea to members of the press. “Who doesn’t love Girl Scout cookies?” she asked with a smile. “So if we can slip a small amount of the vaccine into cookies that are sold to the unvaccinated, we can trick a lot of people!”
“Think about it. You can get a little immunity with your Thin Mints. Try the S’moderna s’mores to keep that nasty virus at bay. Maybe you prefer the peanut butter Do-si-dose flavor? It’s all good stuff! You can’t even taste the Pfizer in the shortbread – because they mask it! Get it?!” Psaki giggled as the room groaned. ” The toffee ones are Fauci-tastic! Personally, my favs are the Caramel deltaLites with the coconut. Yum.”
White House officials hope the strategy will pay off several ways. First, they hope people will be unable to say no to girl scouts. Secondly, they’re hoping most families will stock up with extra boxes of cookies to enjoy during the next lockdown for the looming Delta variant. Biden gets the vaccine in more Americans. The Girl Scouts sell more cookies door-to-door. It’s a win-win partnership in their minds.
Final details of the program will be announced short(bread)ly. Sorry.