WASHINGTON – Joe Biden signed his most important (to the Democrat Party) executive order in his first week in office. The Only Good DC Swamp Is A Full DC Swamp order was signed Friday in the Oval Office. Members of the administration, fellow Democrats, and the mainstream media all cheered the signing.
During the Trump administration, the president drained the Swamp about 39%. But that left the majority of the swamp to remain an ongoing breeding ground for anti-American corruption. And now that Democrats have total power, many creatures banished by Trump have begun slithering back in.
“The DC Swamp should never be this low again,” Biden proclaimed. “By my decree, I hereby demand that DC Swamp levels be returned to pre-Trump levels. In fact, I want to see the Swamp so high that it flows right over the spillway. Let the corruption flow, baby!”
Media outlets lauded the move as the most significant political maneuver in the last 50 years. Disgraced former FBI Director James Comey orgasmed at the news. CNN’s Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo wept with joy.
On MSNBC, anchor Katy Tur explained to viewers, “The Swamp is where our real power lies. These are the Democrats, hidden in the shadows, who do the hard work of advancing America’s decline. It’s a beautiful day in the Swamp today.”