Biden Threatens To Have Reporter Fired Within Six Hours For Ukraine Question

LOS ANGELES – While answering questions from reporters this weekend, 2020 Democratic candidate Joe Biden became irate when a question was asked about his Ukraine/Hunter Biden scandal. He immediately threatened the offending reporter with causing his employment termination within six hours if the reporter didn’t withdraw his question.

A visibly pissed Biden reacted to the Ukraine question, saying, “Kiddo, I’m not gonna respond to that. Look, I make one phone call and I’ll have you fired within six hours. How dare you question my nepotism skills! You wanna walk back your question and ask me something about mean, orange man instead?”

“‘Cause I’ll make that phone call and, son of a bitch, six hours later you’re fired. That’s how we Biden’s handle things.”

six hours

Joe is desperately trying to avoid answering any questions related to his Ukrainian dealings, and has addressed the matter with his staff. According to one campaign aide, Biden told his people, “You’re all going to sit there and tell me you haven’t at one time or another secured a $50,000 a month gig for your kids too?! Sorry, I’m not buying it.”

Biden also has informed staff that the reason he ran for president in the first place was so he would be insulated from having to answer questions about his past misdeeds. “It’s the Hillary Clinton defense strategy,” the campaign worker explained.

UPDATE – The reporter who strayed off the reservation did not withdraw the Ukraine corruption question, but is beginning his new job search Monday morning.


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