VIRGINIA – They’re American classics at Dairy Queen – the Hungr-Buster, BeltBuster, and TripleBuster burgers. Joe Biden loves burgers and ice cream, but he’s objecting to one thing he says the chain needs to do away with for the betterment of the country.
“I’m here today to plead with my friends at Dairy Queen. I need your help,” the president told patrons. “Look, I’ll confess…I’ve had my share of Hungr-Busters and BeltBusters over the years. They’re quality products. But if we’re to save our democracy, Dairy Queen must get rid of the FiliBuster! We can’t ram our progressive agenda down the throats of Americans with this thing hanging around!”
Puzzled employees and customers looked bewildered, wondering what the hell Mr. Biden was talking about. “I never would have guessed that Dairy Queen would end up holding the future of our country in their hands, but here we are!” Joe shouted. “I don’t mean to scare you folks, but look at this.” Biden held out a Blizzard ice cream treat and turned it upside down.
“If we can’t get rid of the FiliBuster, we can’t steamroll climate change regulations through Congress. And if we don’t tackle global warming now, the ice cream in this blizzard would fall out of the cup and all over the floor. Is that a world you want to live in?! I’m betting you don’t.”
Before he left the restaurant, Biden asked customers how they would feel if their grandchildren never got to see a blizzard turned upside down when they pulled up to the drive-thru window. “Do you want to tell them you did nothing when you had the chance? Join me in demanding that Dairy Queen cancel the FiliBuster!”
Biden thanked his confused audience and told Secret Service agents he was thirsty as he walked out. “Let’s stop off at the Dilly Bar.”