Castaway Jack Dorsey Blames ‘Wilson’ For Censoring Conservatives On Twitter

WASHINGTON – Island castaway and Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey appeared via Zoom before a Senate committee this week. At issue is the ongoing censorship of conservative accounts on his platform. Meanwhile, accounts of progressives are never censored.

Social media sites have been blocking the publication of posts detrimental to Joe Biden. The New York Post busted Biden and his family for corruption involving Communist China. Senator Ted Cruz let Jack have it. “Who the hell elected you, Mr. Dorsey, to be the arbiter of truth on social media?”

The disheveled looking CEO mumbled some nonsense. Then, he threw his only friend, ‘Wilson,’ under the bus. Wilson is a volleyball and is Dorsey’s only companion on the lonely island.

Dorsey

“My colleague, Wilson, would be the one responsible for the locking of any accounts that post materials that don’t meet my ever-changing standards. He’s an expert in algorithms, or so he claims, so you’d have to ask him.”

Jack said he met Wilson shortly after washing up on shore and hired him on the spot. “I know he doesn’t look like much, but he’s pretty sharp when you get to know him,” Dorsey mumbled. He said he immediately installed Wilson as head of the Censoring Conservatives Dept. – West Coast Division.

The weary castaway said if he ever gets rescued from the island, he will look into unlocking the New York Post’s Twitter account.

Watch your back, Jack.

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2 Thoughts to “Castaway Jack Dorsey Blames ‘Wilson’ For Censoring Conservatives On Twitter

  1. Say, I missed one of my sched meds today too. Just be careful catching-up. Great read. Funny. Sad. Satire is such a great tool. Thanks.

    1. E. Williams

      Ha! I know, I hate missing a dose. Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading!!

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