Chicago To Test BLM-Approved Call In System For Cops Before Engaging Criminals

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CHICAGO – Mayor Lori Lightfoot is not only reimagining the police. She’s reimagining reality. The city is planning to try out a new phone-in system for its city’s cops to call for permission before pursuing bad guys.

Black Lives Matter has approved the program. According to a press release, police would call a supervisor, lay out the sitch as quickly as possible, then wait for approval from a supervisor. Here’s an example of the way the program would work:

Bad guy has a weapon and is threatening someone. Cops arrive on scene. Bad guy commits crime. Officer calls headquarters to see if it’s OK to engage or pursue the criminal. Criminal takes off.

“Hello. Thank you for calling the City of Chicago’s crime apprehension line. This call may be recorded for training purposes. Please listen carefully, as our options have recently changed.

For English, press 8. (8) Thank you. If you are witnessing a crime right now, press 1. If your suspect has already fled, press 2. (1)

Thank you. If your suspect is black, press 1. If your suspect is Hispanic, press 2. If your suspect is white, press 3. For Asian, Indian, and all other races, press 4. If you’re not sure of your suspect’s ethnicity, press 5. (1)

Thank you. You said your suspect is black. For male, press 1. For female, press 2. If you think your suspect’s gender might be in a state of fluidity, press 3. (1)

Thank you. If your subject has already killed someone, press 1. If your suspect may kill someone if you let them get away because you’re pressing numbers on a phone menu instead of chasing them down, press 2. (2)

Thank you. If you’ve tried reasoning with your suspect, and they didn’t comply, press 1. If you’re currently taking gunfire from your suspect, press 2. If you’ve already lost sight of your suspect, press 3. If you’re white and believe any action taken by you will fit the media’s narrative of racism against all people of color by the police, press 4. (4)

Thank you, please hold. (long pause) You will need approval before taking any further action. To speak to the next available Chicago Police supervisor, press 1 or stay on the line. However, since you indicated your suspect is black, we recommend you…hang up, walk away, and don’t get involved. Thank you for serving. Goodbye.”

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One Thought to “Chicago To Test BLM-Approved Call In System For Cops Before Engaging Criminals

  1. Now, why do I think there is more truth than irony here???

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