NEW JERSEY – Former Gov. Chris Christie left the double-wide French doors open to running for president again in 2024. He said he wouldn’t rule out running, and losing again, even against President Trump.
“President Trump is a meanie. He hurt my feelers. So now, I come out against everything he does,” Christie told reporters. If Donald does decide to run in 2024, I’ll be there to suck a bunch of the air out of the room.”
The former governor explained that because he sucks, it just makes sense for him to play a spoiler role. “Look, I’m not a likeable guy, and that’s part of my charm. Throw in my amazing bod, and I’m a formidable foe for anyone!”
Chris Christie ended his remarks by clarifying that he’s concentrating on losing in 2024 because “I don’t RUN for anything. Never have. Hate it. Running is very, very overrated.”
The New Jersey politician also said the first executive order he would sign on day 1 of a Christie presidency would be to require all men to wear their belts above the belly-button. If elected, Christie would become the first American of Oompa-Loompa descent to win the White House.