NEW YORK – Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg has figured out that by firing off disapproving looks at weak-minded politicians, she can shame them into doing what she wants. She is deathly afraid of climate change, and there’s no end to the pouting she’ll do until it’s fixed.
Those on the Left have elevated the teenager to near-Saint status just because they can’t bear to see the disappointment on her face due to their inability to save us all from bursting into flames in a few years. The young Swede has even used her stern facial expressions to let members of the United Nations, and Congress, know there is some crap up with which she will not put.
“I think of myself as a happy, upbeat person,” Greta admitted, “Like your Bernie Sanders. But my teachers in Sweden scared the crap out of me with their climate lectures, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to suffer lifelong eco-anxiety all by myself! I expect everyone around the world to be as miserable about our impending doom as I am.”
“That’s why I’m taking my disapproving looks all over the world. If I can shame enough people into taking our civilization back to the horse and buggy days, then my efforts will have been worth it,” she concluded.
U.N. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres said, “It worked on me. She shoots those daggers at you with her eyes if she doesn’t like what you say. She pouts, and I just can’t take it. I’m willing to wreck the world’s economy if it’ll just put a smile on that little, round face.”
So far, the world has just been one big disappointment to the young climate guru – unable to turn her frown upside down. Poor Greta.