NEW YORK – Now that Clinton stock is dropping like a stone, following Hillary’s loss to Donald Trump for the presidency, the Clinton Foundation has announced it’s having a fire sale. All of its services are being offered at ridiculously low prices.
Hillary and Bill Clinton, known as grifters, and the ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ of the political world, have not been able to get the phone to ring since early Wednesday morning. The few texts they have received this week have been from the Saudis and Qatar, both countries demanding refunds for the millions they’ve paid the couple, in exchange for future favors that will never come to fruition now.
Foundation spokesperson, Chelsea Clinton, made the announcement about the fire sale. “We’re slashing prices on everything from watered-down AIDS vaccines to poverty-stricken countries in Africa, to Mom’s speaking fees. My mother has agreed to speak to groups for $45 per 30-minute speech, but we please ask that there be at least 6 people in attendance for her to appear.”
Bill Clinton has also been busy this week, looking for countries that might offer the family asylum before Donald Trump becomes the new sheriff in town. Bill says he’s hoping to find a country that doesn’t allow extradition to the United States, but he did point out that, “If they can at least guarantee no extradition for me, but can’t do the same for Hillary, I’d still take ’em up on it.”