ATLANTA – As a practice, social distancing is a new way of life for most. CNN, on the other hand, has been distancing for decades. The lowly cable news outlet admits that ‘truth distancing’ is what has differentiated them from their competition.
Network anchor Chris Cuomo said, “We’ve been ‘truth distancing’ since I was a baby. CNN didn’t used to practice that, but as more cable news channels popped up, we had to do something to stand out. Distancing ourselves from the truth is what the suits came up with, we adopted the idea, and never looked back.”
Allyson Camerota recalls a close call she once had at the network. “We were live, and I almost stumbled across the truth. I don’t remember what we were discussing. But you can tell by the look on my face how shocked I was at having come so close to it!”
Anderson Cooper believes the policy serves the network well. “As long as we’ve got the airport contracts, we can say whatever we want. We’re not going anywhere. And the personal bias’s of our on-air talent assures that we’ll stay as far away from the truth in our reporting as we possibly can.”
Prime time host Don Lemon had this to say. “When you distance yourself from the truth, you can be condescending, racist, whatever. It really free’s you up cause you’re not restricted to just the facts. Truth distancing has really saved us. CNN wouldn’t exist today without it.”
The distancing principle seems to be a two-way street. Viewers have been distancing themselves from the network for years. THIS…is CNN.