NEW YORK – Oopsy Poopsy! Right in the middle of an interview on MSNBC, Democratic representative Eric “Shartswell” Swalwell accidentally crop dusted the entire studio. Anchor Chris Matthews was one of the alleged victims of the incident.
“While congressman Shartswell was answering, I heard this loud fart sound and then, while Eric continued speaking, I felt this breeze running up my leg!” Matthews recalled. Mr. Shartswell is denying that he was the one responsible for the trouser cough, even though his college yearbook says the future politician was voted “Most Likely To Queef” by his graduating class.
Shartswell tried to blame a cameraman for the anal audio, even before the farticles had settled in the studio. All MSNBC personnel denied the loose deuce originated from them.
One cameraman told us, “This Fartgate thing stinks to high heaven. Shartswell did it and he knows it. He knows WE know he did it. But he’s a politician. He’ll never admit to crackin’ a rat live on the air, no matter how much the evidence points to him.”
Shartswell’s entire run for the presidency this year was one big air onion. In fact, it’s ironic that Shartswell himself backfired, at the very moment he was talking about impeachment charges against the president, which will also backfire on the Democrats.
We here at The Barbed Wire Satire would like to extend our conflatulations to the former presidential candidate. It couldn’t happen to a bigger asshole.