Democrats: Cohen Testimony Gave Us A Lot To Daydream About

WASHINGTON – Not having a firm grasp on reality anyway, congressional Democrats were satisfied with testimony they heard from former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen this week. Most agreed that his version of lies about the president “gave them a lot to daydream about.”

Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) commented, “Mr. Cohen bolstered my imagined perception that the president is a racist and bigot, and that I’m not. That’s how I choose to see things. Like with the Russian collusion, just because it’s a hoax, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make me happy to dream about it as if it were true.”

Adam Schiff (D-CA) agreed. “I like to sit in my office for hours and just daydream of all the awful things I’d like to do to the president. None of it will come to pass, but it makes me feel good to imagine it’s real. That’s why all the contradictions we heard from Mr. Cohen this week were so invaluable.”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Mental Patient-NY) was disappointed that Mr. Cohen didn’t blame the president for the looming climate catastrophe. “I wish he would have, like, exposed the president for spending every waking moment, like, plotting how he can destroy our planet in 12 short years. That’s what I daydream about. And since I’m not capable of, like, rational thought, I’m an awesome daydreamer.”

 

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