Democrats Hinge Hopes On Ex-Trump Lawyer Droopy Cohen

Cohen

WASHINGTON – In a desperate attempt to nail President Trump, Democrats in Congress are hoping his former lawyer, Michael “Droopy” Cohen, can give them some good dirt to use against him. The atmosphere during Cohen’s testimony has been electric, with yawns and letdowns aplenty.

House Democrat Elijah Cummings announced that Cohen’s testimony today is being sponsored by No-Doz Maximum Strength Alertness Aid.

Droopy, a convicted liar who will be behind bars soon, had half the chamber napping before he finished his opening statement. In fact, Cummings brought in Eeyore, he of the Hundred Acre Wood, to add some energy to the room and pump up those attending the hearings.

Michael Cohen still looking for evidence for Dems to use against Trump.

Nothing earth-shaking has been revealed by Droopy today, but Democrats are holding out the slimmest glimmer of hope that he’ll give them something they can use against the president.

Several Democratic lawmakers even had to pass on their turns to ask questions of Cohen, saying just looking at him made them too tired to question him.

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