PALM SPRINGS – The recent presidential election has been so devastating to many on the American Left, that millions are now seeking mental health assistance for a condition they call “Trumpression.” Trumpression is defined as “a state of prolonged sadness or apathy resulting from the smack-down of Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election by Donald Trump.”
The Precious Pansy is a mental health clinic here, a safe space in the desert, that specializes in helping celebrities and average snowflakes learn survival skills for the next 4-8 years. The clinic’s director, Dr. Earnest Pickering, said “Trumpression” is similar in some ways to “Obamatrauma,” a condition that has plagued conservatives for 8 long years, but with one very important difference.
“What we’re hearing from doctors and psychoanalysts from across the country, is that liberal patients are coming in complaining of symptoms such as the inability to have sex, loss of appetite, no energy (also known as chronic Jeb!) and feelings that all is lost for America. The main difference between this condition and Obamatrauma is that conservatives and Republicans know how to deal with their emotions, find healthy outlets, and live to fight another day. We don’t see any of that with Trumpression patients.”
Dr. Pickering continued, “Most of these progressives, especially the millennial snowflakes, Cher, Miley Cyrus and Madonna, have never learned these coping skills, so they simply can’t function. They continually act out and express their anger and hopelessness in unhealthy ways.”
Psychiatrists say that it’s a good thing these people are coming in for help, because it will allow them the chance to try to correct other irrational fears they suffer from too, like global warming, etc.