WASHINGTON – Impeachment fever remains high with Democrats. Even as President Trump told the world that ISIS founder Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi had his ticket to Hell punched by American forces, Democrats were unimpressed.
“He didn’t need to kill the guy,” Nancy Pelosi stated. “Al-Baghdadi would have suffered a fate even worse than death if he had been impeached. You know, we could have censured him in the House or something, but killing him seems so harsh.”
The Impeachment King himself, Adam Schiff, added, “Baghdadi was just trying to find his place in the world. He had a knack for killing. Personally, I find it tacky. But I would’ve preferred we impeach him, and then let him suffer that humiliation among his followers the rest of his days. That would have had him Schiffing his pants, I assure you!”
“We like impeaching anybody we don’t like, but, more than that,” Pelosi interrupted, “We cannot, under any circumstances, commend the president for ANY achievement. Even something that benefits the entire world. That’s not who we are as Democrats.”
Rashida Tlaib was very blunt about the subject. “Talking about al-Baghdadi? I would have impeached the motherf*cker.”
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had a thought on the subject too. “I’d like to know how much carbon was, like, added to the atmosphere by Baghdadi detonating his own suicide vest. The president’s careless actions clearly added to the climate catastrophe that surrounds us already. Impeaching leaves no carbon footprint! Duh.”
The leaders of the Democratic Party agreed that all their enemies, foreign and domestic, deserve impeachment. And that they should be the ones to sit in judgment of those impeachments.
President Trump responded to the trio on Twitter. #IveGotYourImpeachmentRightHere