WASHINGTON – Leading Democrats, as well as leading Democratic mouthpieces in the media, are worried that an exoneration of President Trump in the Mueller Report may set up a dreaded 3-tiered justice system in America.
House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler, “Nads” for short (the guy’s only 5′ 4″), explained his Party’s worry about the president’s vindication in the Russian collusion investigation. “Right now, we have a 2-tiered justice system. We have one for Hillary Clinton and her people, and one for everybody else.”
“If Robert Mueller doesn’t indict President Trump for what I still believe is evidence of collusion, then we will have a 3-tiered justice system in this country. That’s too many tiers. It’s going to be confusing to Americans.
“Everybody knows that if you’re on Team Hillary, you automatically get a free pass for any wrongdoing,” Nads continued. “But I don’t like President Trump, so he shouldn’t be afforded that same ‘look the other way’ justice that Democrats currently enjoy.”
CNN’s Don Lemon whined about the threat to our justice system in his own way. “If the president wasn’t a cracker, he’d be in jail by now. We don’t need facts. We don’t need evidence. We only need allegations. Look, he’s white and he’s a Republican. What more proof do you need to take this man down?”
Rachel Maddow nearly came to tears while lamenting the threat to our legal system. “I don’t really know how to put this, folks. This is scary stuff. Despite made up stories and lies from us for two years, the thought that the president may not be in jail by this time tomorrow night is terrifying to me. His last name is not Clinton, for God’s sake!”
Democrats insist that a two-tiered justice system works better for everybody. “It’s a nice round number,” said Democrat Adam Schiff. “Besides, who ever heard of an innocent Republican?! This is madness.”
Schiff insists that investigations will continue for the next six years, right on through President Trump’s second term.