ARKANSAS – Science has proven that Joe Biden’s son, Hunter Biden, is indeed the biological father of a baby born to an Arkansas woman. The baby was born out of wedlock. Hunter denied he was the baby daddy initially, but later agreed to a DNA test.
“The first clue for us was that the baby was named Burisma,” the Arkansas mother’s attorney stated. “It’s not a very common name outside of Ukraine, you know. My client is seeking $83,000 a month, for doing nothing.”
It’s unclear if the baby will be named Burisma Biden, or keep the mother’s last name. Hunter’s money, if awarded to the mother, will cover child support and medical bills for the child.
New grandpa Joe Biden is brushing off the news while focusing on his 2020 campaign. “Look, my son’s got no moral compass. But that’s not my fault. I’ve been in Washington the last 50 years. I didn’t raise him, so don’t look at me.”
The elder Biden seemed perturbed though. “I want to know how any love child of my sons escaped an abortion. I’ve gotta have a talk with that boy. Had he taken care of business like he should have, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
On a side note, Grandpa Joe has threatened to have the mother’s attorney fired within six hours, or Hunter will withhold all future child support payments.