WASHINGTON – Many people have a fear of flying, but Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s accuser, suffers from a unique form of this phobia. She is cursed with the fear of “testiflying.”
Dr. Ford is allegedly paralyzed with a fear of flying if it involves her traveling to testify about her past. Her lawyers have attested to her affliction. Fortunately, Ford’s fear of flying can be conquered by attaching a sunny destination with beautiful beaches to the end of a flight.
“Everyone knows a plane doesn’t crash when you’re flying to a vacation spot,” Ford explained, “So there’s no reason to be afraid on those trips!” She also admitted that her claustrophobic feelings on planes seem to fade away on longer, international flights.
The testiflying phobia is not fully understood by psychologists, although Dr. Ford, a psychologist herself, may have figured out how to cope with the condition. Whether she chooses to share her other coping mechanisms with the rest of the scientific community remains to be seen.
“I just want to be clear. The fear of testiflying is a real thing. I am in no way just making it up or lying when I use it as a reason to avoid testifying before Congress,” Ford said. “Also, will these testiflyer miles count toward my regular frequent flyer miles? I’d better ask my attorneys or Ms. Feinstein.”