Elizabeth Warren Insists America Needs New Deals In Every Color

new deals

NEVADA – 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren loves AOC’s Green New Deal so much that she’s proposed her own “Blue New Deal.” The Blue New Deal is designed to throw taxpayer money into the oceans, with no real benefits to America. In this way, it resembles the Green New Deal.

“It’s fun to just make up these totally unrealistic plans and attach a color to it!” Warren excitedly announced. “Take AOC’s Green New Deal. It’s called ‘Green’ because that’s the color of the money that we would waste on the plan.”

“But why stop there? I’m working on proposals that would provide ‘New Deals’ in a variety of colors. For instance, there needs to be a ‘Black New Deal‘ for, well…….you know. My ‘Red New Deal‘ would benefit my Native American brothers and sisters.

“The really fun part for me is coming up with fairy tale figures that each program would cost,” Liz told us. “Let’s have a ‘Brown New Deal‘ for our neighbors south of our border. Why not? The more trillions the better, I always say!”

Warren said she’s working on an ‘Orange New Deal‘ that would regulate the temperature output of the sun. Her ‘Silver New Deal‘ would provide every need for senior citizens. The ‘Purple New Deal‘ will be a giant slush fund in which money is laundered and sent to swing states, with the hopes of turning those states blue.

Liz said she hasn’t finalized her “White New Deal,” but knows it will involve taking money from Caucasians and giving it to everybody else. She says any one of her “New Deals” would help to destroy America. However, she stresses that passing all of them at once would be the quickest way to accomplish that goal.

Uhhh…no, you do not.

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