WASHINGTON – “Hurry the F up…” is the cryptic message in the latest release of the FBI’s Peter Strzok and Lisa Page’s text messages, relating to their attempt to subvert the election of Donald Trump. However, Congress is trying to determine what the “F” stands for and, once again, leaders in the FBI and DOJ are stonewalling the release of clarifying documents on the issue.
Even Inspector General Michael “I Can’t Prove Bias In The Face Of Blatant Bias” Horowitz said there was no way to infer what the “F” stands for. “Hurry the ‘what’ up?” Horowitz wondered. “Without personal testimony or smoking gun documentation from Strzok, I’ll be damned if I can guess what he was trying to say.”
Saying we can all speculate on what the “F” is code for, Fox News’ Juan Williams explained, “There are literally thousands and thousands of words in our dictionary that begin with the letter F. It could be anything. And I just don’t see how you can draw any conclusions unless you could get inside Strzok’s head and guess what he was thinking.”
Strzok is scheduled to appear in front of Congress next week, but has threatened to be a no-show. If he fails to testify, the explanation of the “F” word may remain a mystery for years to come. One thing is apparent from the Strzok/Page texts though – they both fucking hate Trump.