FLORIDA – Hurricane Dorian wants no part of President Trump. The powerful storm was churning right toward south Florida, and the “Winter White House,” when its projected path suddenly veered northward, avoiding the resort that the president frequents.
“I was having a good time freaking out the entire state of Florida,” Dorian said, “When all of a sudden I looked ahead and realized I was heading straight for Mar-a-Lago! I said, ‘Oh Shit!’ and immediately changed my future path.
I know this abrupt change of course will likely piss off meteorologists and political opponents of the president, but even I know that when you try to go up against Trump, it never ends well for you.”
Many of Trump’s enemies were wishing the storm would bring death and destruction to anyone and anything related to the president. “Look, they may have Trump Derangement Syndrome,” Dorian pointed out, “But I’m nobody’s huckleberry.”
The hurricane said while wrecking Florida would have been fun, it wasn’t worth having to deal with President Trump. “This is not like when my friend Katrina tangled with those incompetent boobs who ran New Orleans at the time. Trump doesn’t play. No thanks. I’ll skirt the east coast north of Mar-a Lago a bit, but then I’m hauling my ass out to sea.”