WASHINGTON D.C. – Many female Democrats, some Independent women, and a few trannies, have declared that they will be voting with their vaginas for Hillary Clinton this year. This admission has forced companies that manufacture voting machines to unveil new designs for the upcoming presidential election.
Premier Election Solutions, one of the largest manufacturers of voting machines, has released their newest machine – The VagiVote 1000. The VagiVote is a voting machine that has been modified to meet the needs of those female voters who care nothing about honesty, national security, open borders, the economy, or breaking the law, but simply want to see vaginas in the Ovary Office.
The new machine will be waist high and employ a joystick on the button that registers a vote for Hillary Clinton. After a woman enters the voting booth, she will remove her clothing from the waist down, straddle the machine, sit on the joystick, and rock back and forth until she maneuvers the cursor next to Hillary’s name.
When the vote has been tallied, the woman will dismount the VagiVote machine and fill out the rest of her ballot the old-fashioned way – by hand. Hillary voters will have the option of receiving a cigarette and a light after voting, if it was good for them. Bleach wipes and hand sanitizer will be provided in the booth for cleaning the machine after use.
Traditional voting machines will be available at all voting locations for men – and women who are able to think for themselves. As usual, voters will receive an “I Voted” sticker after performing their patriotic duty. However, lady Democrats exiting the voting location will receive an “I voted with my Pink Panther” or “I grabbed this election by the p*ssy!” sticker.
They will then drive home, feeling totally empowered, and secure in the knowledge they were helping elect the absolutely most corrupt, worst woman they could have ever found to be the first female president.