MIAMI – In the last few weeks, people on cruise ships have been fighting each other, and one woman even smacked a dude across the face with a wine bottle. Carnival Cruise Lines believes they’ve identified a niche in their industry that’s not being served.
Introducing the Carnival Antifa, the cruise company’s latest addition to the Carnival fleet, a ship designed especially for the fascist, anti-fascist Antifa gang. You can fight to your heart’s content and go ape-wild on either 7 or 10-day cruises through the Gulf of Mexico, the Caribbean, or ports in Central America.
Fighting with other passengers is encouraged on the cruises and each evening, just after sunset, a car will be flipped over and set on fire on the main deck level at the rear of the ship. At midnight, the car will be pushed overboard and cruisers are free to riot anywhere on the ship.
Jacob Hightower, a 22-year old Antifa member, loves the new vacation option. “I can’t ever control my own emotions when something doesn’t go my way, so this is perfect for me! And since I never know how to behave in public, Carnival takes that pressure off of me. Thanks, Carnival!”
The ship’s bars will be stocked with Molotov cocktails, and there will be baseball bats, chains, and first-aid kits available on the Lido deck.