GENEVA – A new survey of world leaders, American university students, Democrats, and Hollywood celebrities reveals that the crisis known as “global whining” over the recent victory by Donald Trump to become the next American president, may be close to reaching the point of no return.
“There may soon be no hope for many of these people,” the survey researchers explained. “Global whining is one of the most serious threats facing the United States at this time, and we fear the butthurt by the losers who are protesting, rioting, committing vandalism, and making videos of themselves crying over Trump’s win may become irreversible very soon.”
Al Sore, the ‘father of global whining,’ recently complained, “If we continue to ignore the warning signs, if we fail to provide enough puppies, safe spaces, teddy bears, and coloring books for all those affected emotionally from President-elect Trump’s win at the polls, millions could be traumatized for life!”
“You have to remember, most of these young people have been conditioned to worship a weak president,” Sore continued, “and it’s a tremendous shock for them to try to imagine a leader who might actually do some of the hard things that are necessary to repair damage done by Barack Obama, and make America great again.”
The Geneva study concluded that global whining over Trump has increased 160% over the previous 18 months, with a significant spike in the last week. The fear mongering of the whiners has not been helped by past predictions of catastrophe by so-called experts.
Singer Miley Sadnus, actress Lena Dumbass, and filmmaker Michael ‘Moore-please’ have been predicting doom and gloom for months if Trump won the White House. Time is running short to avert a crisis, so let’s all pray that America can figure out a way to stop the whining before it’s too late.