WASHINGTON – Still licking their wounds after being humiliated by Senator John McCain (D-AZ) in the latest Obamacare repeal effort, Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan said they still believe they can fail in the future too.
“We still feel extremely confident that we can screw up tax reform, which is coming up next, and anything else that we attempt to tackle on behalf of the American people,” McConnell said. “We don’t know how much longer we’ll have Senator McCain around to help us screw the pooch, but we feel we’ll be able to mess things up pretty good with or without him.”
Ryan was just as optimistic about his failure in the House. “It’s not that hard, really. When you don’t give a damn about what the voters wanted when they sent us here, it makes it a lot easier to jack-up even the simplest legislative issue.”
Both men agreed that a bunch of monkeys could have outmaneuvered Senator Chuck Schumer and the Democrats on repealing Obamacare, but they still feel the fault lies with the American people.
McConnell said if voters will simply give him 75 Republicans in the Senate in 2018, he thinks they might be able to pass some bills. “That would at least give us a little more wiggle room.”
Likewise, Ryan said if he only had 300 Republicans in the House he could probably score some minor wins for President Trump.