TEXAS – Two top officials with ERCOT (Electric Reliability Council of Texas) have tried to explain how they failed Texans during the recent Great Freeze. Millions were without power and/or water for days during the storm. Lives were lost due to their incompetence.
Board members Beavis & Butt-Head, both of whom live outside of Texas, held a press conference to defend their actions. Mr. Anderson, a member of the ERCOT’s Executive Team, also answered for his failures.
Beavis: Huh, huh, he said member.
Butt-Head: Uhhhhh, mem-ber of Excuses Team…oh yeah, uh huh huh huh huh.
Mr. Anderson: Boy, I tell you what. Those boys really screwed the pooch on that winter storm. I told ’em before the cold weather hit, ‘It ain’t what power you cut…..it’s what power you don’t cut.’ I swear, I don’t think those boys understand anything.
Butt-Head: (Looking at Anderson) Uhhhhh, could you, like, shut up? If you’re talking about the grid, we couldn’t get it up because that fart-knocker Beavis didn’t winterize the equipment. You gotta have the right tools for the job, dude.
Beavis: Hey Butt-Head, you said ‘we couldn’t get it up (giggling).’
Butt-Head: That’s cool. Grids rule! Uh huh huh huh huh huh.
Anderson: You boys couldn’t find your gonads if they weren’t attached. How the hell the great state of Texas let you two be in charge of their electricity, I’ll never understand. I’d like to see a gang of spider monkeys beat the livin’ crap out of you boys for screwing those good people.
Beavis: Are you threatening us?!
Butt-Head: Settle down, Beavis. Anderson’s just jealous cause he’s not a ladies man like us.
Beavis: Oh yeah. Damn, we’re smooth. Chicks dig big grids. Hee hee hee hee.
Butt-Head: Yeah, we’re gonna score because we control the means of production….or something.
Anderson: I hope they throw you boys in jail for what you’ve done here. If it were up to me, they’d take you bastards out behind my tool shed and have you shot. That would be a better world for all of us.
Beavis: Rock and rolling blackouts are cool!
Butt-Head: Uh, this press conference sucks worse than anything that has ever sucked before. Let’s go, Beavis.
And that was all the information that came from the presser held by the higher-ups at ERCOT. Many questions remain unanswered for the many Texans who suffered during that terrible storm.