Hillary: Joe Biden Could Seal Deal With Voters By Getting Thrown Into Van

NEW YORK – Two-time presidential loser Hillary Clinton has some advice for her friend Joe Biden. Get your handlers to throw you into a waiting van. She said in an interview on CNN that getting thrown into a van was the high point of her campaign in 2016.

“Sympathy can do wonders,” Clinton said, “And we Clinton’s are not the most sympathetic people. So, it’s a way of manipulating the emotions of voters. I think that’s what Joe needs to seal the deal against Bernie. And, trust me Joe, Democrats are easily played.” (Cackles loudly)

She continued, “One word of caution though. Joe has to make sure his people throw him into the van, not in front of, or under the van. One helps your sympathy vote, while the other sounds more like an accident that could occur to a friend of ours who might be preparing to testify, or something.” (Cackles louder, coughs for 4 minutes, then cackles some more)

Surprisingly, Hillary then went into sexist mode. “If Joe does the van trick, he’ll continue building a broad-based coalition. What I mean by that is he’ll continue to bring in broads…..the biggest voting bloc out there.”

Joe asks “Will there be broads in the van?”

She may have a point. Bernie Sanders is mostly backed by bros, rather than broads.

Asked if she had anything else to say to Joe before next week’s vote in Michigan, she replied, “You’re welcome.”


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