SYRIA – ISIS leaders have issued a statement praising the brave act of assassination porn committed by D-list comedienne Kathy Griffin. The terror group is calling Griffin “an unfunny attention whore lioness who will be elevated to the C-list in heaven someday.”
Griffin published a bizarre picture of her holding a mock bloody, severed head of President Trump. After getting slammed on social media, she has issued a half-assed apology that is as worthless as running shoes are to Michael Moore.
ISIS claims Griffin became radicalized as a Democrat years ago, but it was her severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome that triggered her act of violence. The evil dust devils of ISIS also said Griffin has been teetering on the edge ever since her first co-hosting gig on CNN’s New Year’s Eve special.
“That’s why we’ve been watching her. We feel kind of bad that this move has ruined whatever career she thought she had left, but she’s a hero to us. We’re now crossing our fingers and wondering whether Chelsea Handler or Lena Dunham will explode next,” a soldier remarked.
The distance between Democrats and ISIS is a short one. Everyone knows that if Democrats could behead those who disagree with them, and get away with it, they would.