PHILADELPHIA – As Hillary Clinton stepped off a curb and caught pneumonia last week, President Obama stepped up behind the podium to campaign for her. Like the rest of us, Obama can’t stand Hillary – but he values his legacy more than life itself.
He only has a few months left in office (thank God), and fortunately for him, leaders of ISIS have decided to let him have the next couple of months off from his job to campaign for Mrs. Clinton.
A masked ISIS general said, “We understand how tough being a lame duck can be for an American president. Mentally, Mr. Obama checked out of his job many months ago. So, in return for him never taking our terror group seriously, we’ve told him that we will not carry out any attacks on American interests at least until after your election.”
“Obama is very concerned about his legacy and, while there are many serious issues and problems he could be addressing during this time, we know there is nothing he would rather be doing than ignoring his responsibilities, campaigning, and golfing. It’s like with any other job. When you’re about to leave, you just really don’t give a sh*t anymore. We don’t want to be a distraction to him.”
The general then advised Americans that if they’ve ever wanted to visit the Middle East, the next few months would be an ideal time to do so.