NEW YORK – Sitting at home, watching one of the many recent television interviews of disgraced former FBI director James Comey, disgraced 2-time presidential loser Hillary Clinton admitted she was impressed by his ability to lie and make excuses.
“I mean, it’s just like me,” Clinton remarked. “He’s obviously guilty of numerous felonies, but he knows just when to say ‘that’s not my recollection,’ change the meaning of words, and come up with inane excuses for his crimes. What can I say? I’m a big fan!”
Hillary claims to be the one who originated the infamous George Costanza line, “Remember, it’s not a lie…if you believe it.” She’s happy to see that Comey has embraced the concept. “He really seems to believe the shit he’s spewing. Just like me!”
Clinton said she hopes Comey has surrounded himself with yes-men who will be too afraid to call him on his BS. “That’s how I’ve operated during my entire time in politics.” She also noted how his constant, concerned expression begs for sympathy from viewers. “I wish I was half as good as he is at that. Truthfully though, well, as truthful as a Clinton can be, I just really don’t care what viewers think.”
Hillary said she finds Comey’s tortured demeanor while he’s answering even the easiest, straight-forward questions, simply irresistible. “He’s a tall drink of water,” she said, “but if I weren’t gay, and in this sham of a marriage with Bill, look out (cackling).”