HOLLYWOOD – Paramount Pictures has announced the Jennifer Lawrence (J.Law) movie mother! (stylized with a lower-case m) has performed so poorly at the box office that the studio just has to make another one. The sequel, tentatively scheduled for a 2019 release date, will be titled mother! f*cker!
The sequel title is a nod to the reactions of both Paramount executives and Lawrence when they saw opening weekend numbers for the flop. For Lawrence, the blame for the dismal attendance to the movie can be pinned on one person – President Trump.
“Just like the recent hurricanes were punishment from the gods for Trump being elected president, nobody is going to see my movie for the very same reason,” J.Law whined. “In fact, everything that is wrong or bad in this country is Trump voters’ fault!”
Mother! has received artistic praise from critics, ranging from “the worst movie of my lifetime,” to “2 hours of the most annoying, preachy gibberish,” to a CinemaScore rating of ‘F’ from the few people who chose to pay to see the movie rather than flushing that same money down the toilet.
The sequel, mother! f*cker!, will pick up right where mother! left off…..wherever that was. And it will also be directed by lunatic Darren Aronofsky who directed the current mother!