NEW YORK CITY – Green Party presidential candidate and professional recount activist, Dr. Jill Stein, has announced that she will be challenging the results of The Heisman Trophy race. The award, given to the nation’s top college football player, is on December 10 this year, but Stein has already announced plans to demand a recount – regardless of who the winner is.
Stein, a self-styled recount justice warrior (RJW), when asked why she’s requesting the Heisman recount, answers, “What else do I have going on?”
Already acting indignant about the whole thing, Stein argued, “How can we trust the results without a full audit of the voting process and recount? NFL fans deserve to know the truth. Oh, Roger Goodell will tell you there are no politics involved in Heisman voting, but we all know there are.”
The Elateral College system was designed to eliminate regional favoritism among voters. “So Clemson’s Deshaun Watson could win the popular vote but, because of a lateral, Louisville’s Lamar Jackson could get to the edge and run away with the trophy.”
“Or, Oklahoma’s Baker Mayfield could shock the sports world with a surprise win, despite what the polls show. My point is that there are just too many moving pieces, and the only way to know for sure is to have a recount,” Stein insisted.
Jill says she is available for hire to demand recounts on close student council elections in America’s high schools. She also plans to contest the vote for the next Pope, whenever that takes place again in the future.