DELEWARE – Democrat Joe Biden is getting a little ahead of himself these days. He hasn’t won the White House yet. However, he’s acting like he already has.
Secret Service has upped security on Biden. In addition, airspace has been restricted over his basement. And now, Joe is claiming that the election proves voters have given him an old man(date) for progressive change.
“I’m an old man,” Biden told reporters. “I get it. And when a president wins, they like to say they were given a mandate for change. So, I’ve been given an old man(date) for change. They’re pretty much the same thing. One just moves a little slower than the other.”
“But I can promise you some things about this old man(date),” he shouted. “We will have some bold initiatives, starting on day one. I’ll have Air Force One renamed ‘Arthritis One.’ I’ll sign an executive order making prostate screenings free for all Americans…including the ladies.”
Biden asked voters for patience on some changes. “On other issues, we may institute good policies, but be forgetful on the details. Sometimes, we might roll out a program we think is finished, only to realize it’s not finished yet. Sort of like being incontinent. Eventually, we’ll get there.”
Keep in mind, Biden will only get to carry out his old man(date) if President Trump’s lawyers are unable to prove massive voter fraud that gave numerous states to Biden. This shouldn’t be too hard. Stay tuned…