Joe Biden Reminds Supporters That Distant Second Is The New First Place

distant second

SOUTH CAROLINA – Speaking to a small crowd in a high school gym today, clueless presidential wannabe Joe Biden tried to keep his supporters motivated.

“I just want to remind you all of something. We kicked some serious second-place butt in Nevada, didn’t we?! We’ve got real Joementum now. I can feel it. I’m serious. But don’t lose sight of…or doubt…the strength of our campaign.

“Many of you may not know this, but a distant second is the new first-place. You heard me right. We’ve got Bernie (Sanders) right where we want him. Trust me, he can almost hear us breathing down his neck from very, very far behind him.”

Jill Biden gets that look you get when you know you’ll never be First Lady.

Joe then explained, “Now, our detractors may say that we’re eating Bernie’s dust. But I like dust! Dust isn’t so bad. When you think of dust, you think of things that have just been sitting around…….not doing anything… me!”

Finally, Biden said that without the stress of being the front-runner for the Democratic nomination, he’s found it easier to take multiple naps each day.

“I think sleeping through this campaign is a win-win for all of us, don’t you agree?” A smattering of applause told Joe he had nailed it once again.


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2 Thoughts to “Joe Biden Reminds Supporters That Distant Second Is The New First Place

  1. Ah…but you’re just a lying pony soldier! By the way…Jill looks like she’s been ridden hard and put away wet! I wonder by whom?

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