DELAWARE – From deep within his own basement, Democrat Joe Biden is beaming with joy. The former vice-president is said to be elated after receiving news yesterday that he’d been chosen to be Kamala Harris’ VP.
“This is great!” a grinning from ear-to-ear Biden said. “My wife Jill tried to tell me that I was the one who had chosen Kamala to be my running mate, but she was just messin’ with me. Can you imagine the thought of me at the top of the ticket?!” (Laughing wildly)
“I can’t believe I beat out all those other top Democrats for this VP slot. I had heard that Kamala was looking for ‘a person of no color’ to round out the ticket. So I knew it was down to me, Bernie, Liz Warren, Mayor Pete, Amy, or Beto.”
Biden said he’s confident that he can return to his role as VP in the White House. He also expressed concern for Harris, since she’ll have to carry the campaign alone. “They don’t let me out much,” Joe said.
Finally, he seemed heartened by the prospect of Kamala making good on her main platform issue – eradicating resting bitch face (RBF). “She’s got a lot of experience with that,” said Biden. “I’ve seen it up close. If she wants to tackle that problem, I’ll be right behind her all they way. Nuzzling her ears and sniffing that clean, articulate hair of hers.”