WASHINGTON – President Joe Biden today signed an executive order effectively banning any ghost from owning a gun. During his speech, he said there is an epidemic of gun violence, and laid the blame at the feet of the paranormal.
“We can all agree that ghosts are scary,” the president announced. “And we can all agree that guns are scary. But the only thing scarier is a ghost with a gun. So today, I am signing an EO that will target the sales of ghost guns. My action will make life safer for those of us here, as well as for those beyond the thin veil.”
Biden’s spokesgal, Jen Psaki, elaborated on the president’s actions. “The president is very focused on gun control. But he wants to make one thing very clear. If you’re watching this, and you’re a ghost, NO ONE is coming for your guns. Everyone should understand, this is just another feeble attempt at making it look like we’re solving a problem, while really not doing anything that makes a meaningful difference.”
Ghosts everywhere laughed at the president’s tough talk. One ghost, who chose to remain anonymous, said, “This does nothing. If a ghost really wants to get a gun, he’ll get one – in this realm or another. We see right through this.”
Biden’s executive order has only a ghost of a chance of standing up to future legal challenges.