Judge Bans Anthony Weiner From Ever Using Electronics Again

NEW YORK – A federal judge has banned Anthony Weiner from ever possessing any electronic device that could be used to communicate with another human being. Anthony finds his weiner in boiling water once again, this time for sexting with an underage teen.

In his remarks to Weiner, the judge sternly admonished his latest actions, stating, “You have shown for the last time that you cannot be trusted to possess a cellphone, camera, webcam, copier, fax machine, scanner, x-ray machine, or any other electronic device that can be used to disseminate your dick pics to anyone, under any circumstances.”

“Furthermore, you may not enter a photo booth at a mall, or even possess a Skype account. Your lack of personal restraint is appalling. Do I make myself clear?”

Weiner didn’t seem too fazed by the restrictions. “Go ahead, throw the book at me. But I’m sure that if Hillary wins the White House, my ex will still persuade her to give me a full pardon.”

Anthony could face jail time for this latest incident because of the age of his partner. That would make Weiner the most popular inmate at his prison.



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2 Thoughts to “Judge Bans Anthony Weiner From Ever Using Electronics Again

  1. When Weiner gets out of prison, he should get a job in this newsroom. They’re apparently not picky about whom they hire.

  2. Oh…you’re sick….you’re just SO sick! That’s why we all love you!

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