CALIFORNIA – 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful Kamala Harris has quit the race. She ended her run for the White House today, saying she lacked “anything remotely resembling likability to the average American.”
Harris joins an elite group of unlikable Democratic drop-outs that includes the likes of Beto, Hillary Clinton and Howard Dean. Kamala is the latest to realize that you can’t learn to be likable. You either have it or you don’t.
“Apparently, not enough voters appreciated my snobby, smarter-than-thou attitude,” Kamala concluded. “People are so stupid. I guess I’ll keep sleeping my way to the top, and get a higher position by appointment from a future administration. That way, I don’t have to mess with trying to act like I care about the voters.”
However, Harris did tell supporters that she hasn’t given up on future presidential aspirations. “I’ve already trademarked my next campaign slogan,” she said. “#HeelsUp2024. Kamala Harris – On Her Back Because She’s Got Your Back. Catchy, right?”
“Me, not likable? Please.”